Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground
by DefiniteArticle
Summary: Both Sev. and Luc. are torn between what is right and what is easy. coughcheezylineiknowcough Hinting at lovely slash, please R


I don't own harry potter charactors or the song.

**Dead leaves and the dirty ground **

**When I know you're not around **

**Shiny tops and soda pops **

**When I hear your lips make a sound**

He walked around his empty office and thought intently to himself, '_Being heartless doesn't really apply here because I don't have a heart.. .'_ that was in fact not true… He had a heart, and it belonged to Lucius. He took it everywhere with him, to the ministry, to the manor, everywhere. Severus thought it best to keep quiet on the matter. Lucius had spoken words to him that no one has ever said words of passion, and words of longing. He didn't think it was right, he should love someone else not a fellow death eater. But it didn't matter to him; Severus wanted to know why it meant so damn much to him….

**Thirty notes in the mailbox **

**Will tell you that I'm coming home **

**And I think I'm gonna stick around**

**For a while so you're not alone**

Severus paused from his usual pacing beside his window. Dark clouds were coming in from the north, it would rain. Just the type of thing he needed to lift his spirits. He stared down at the window ledge, all the notes from Lucius that he had ignored. Why was he being so belligerent? All he had to do was read and reply…. Yet he was afraid… He remembered their last argument..

He kept in touch, through useless pieces of paper.. Splattered with lies and promises… Severus opened the window to allow a quick autumn gust to flow through, he stared at all the letters covered slightly in frost. He picked one out that looked recent unstained by the weather and wind…. 

If you can hear a piano fall You can hear me coming down the hall If I could just hear your pretty voice I don't think I need to see at all

Lucius paced his study with what seemed to be an urgent ness to yell out at someone, why was Severus ignoring him? He tried to contact him, to at least explain his sudden absence… Words failed to express his sorrow and remorse…  
He looked outside, over the many hills that surrounded his manor.. Twisted and inert leaves below vaguely across the disheveled lawn…

_Why are you being so ignorant? Lucius hissed as he threw on his dark green cloak. You knew about Narcissa and yet you continue to be attached._

_How can you say that? How am I supposed to feel after all this? UN attached? Impossible…. Severus buttoned up his shirt and crossed his arms. You promised…_

_You should know what I say holds no meaning… Severus drew a quick breath and stared at the man before him. All he ever said was a lie… how could he have been, in Lucius' words "Ignorant"? He pulled the same trick on everyone he knew, lied and betrayed.. Yet when he thought the person he loved to be honest, ha, he should have known… A death eater should always know when someone is betraying them…._

_Good day Severus, I will keep in touch… And with a swift flick of his cloak he was out the door…._

He remembered that argument as if it was his only memory… He had held Severus in his arms and told him he had to leave… Narcissa was to become a mother to his first child… He had told Severus he didn't really love her… "But you loved her enough to get her pregnant!" He tried to reason this outburst but found that it was true… He couldn't explain why he had to keep up the charade of being a good husband.. Severus had pulled away from him, in what he knew was more mind then body.

**Soft hair and a velvet tongue **

**I want to give you what you give to me **

**And every breath that is in your lungs**

**Is a tiny little gift to me**

Lucius leaned on his right hand against his fireplace. He stared at the still burning embers, Severus had blocked connection between fireplaces, and he deserved it. He bent down and prodded the coal with his cane, the ashes swirled and landed softly in his pale blonde hair. He looked up at the mantle and the portrait of him and Narcissa smirked down at him…. It was all a lie, they weren't happy; hell they didn't even see each other except for the occasional meet and greet balls the ministry was always holding. Every night he would say Voldemort was holding a meeting, just so he could see Severus.. That was partially true, every so often a meeting did happen to take place when he wanted to be with him…. He just threw it all away.. "I have a son now, no time for silly midnight crusades" He looked back at his desk from the fireplace… "One more letter couldn't hurt…. He's not answering isn't that telling you something?" Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut… they were happy, they were together. He wanted to give Severus the same things he had given him. Love…Life and Freedom. He didn't have to pretend to be some high and mighty governor; he didn't have to keep up the same evil presence he always exerted. He could be the same, insecure, frightened person he always was but choose to hide….

**I didn't feel so bad till the sun went down **

**Then I come home**

**No one to wrap my arms around**

Voldemort held a meeting that night, in the same run down house he had always inhabited. Severus stood across from Lucius in the circle. Even though he was hidden behind his hood, Severus could still sense his gaze on him, the same gaze that read him like a book. Voldemorts voice drifted in and out, he hardly heard who he was supposed to kill and who they were to obtain information on. "Yes my Lord" he repeated automatically, when Voldemort had stopped speaking and looked around. The other death eaters apparated out of the house some left through the front door. Severus pretended to be interested in a piece of artwork on the wall as Lucius talked to Voldemort. As soon as Lucius stopped talking and bowed his way out into the entrance hall, Severus followed him. He had to talk to him, if not for only a second. "Lucius" he called from the stone steps, nearly all the death eaters had gone, one or two remained behind discussing events within the meeting. Lucius stopped and turned around slowly lowering his hood, those cold grey eyes drinking in everything about Severus, his body language, the way he had his hair that shone brightly in the pale light of the moon. "What?" Lucius asked rather annoyed. He knew what; he had been pondering what for the last 5 weeks. "I'm…"Severus thought about what he was going to say… "Sorry? He left you not the other way around!" "Never mind…." He shook his head and walked quickly down the steps carelessly brushing passed Lucius. With one last look into his lovers eyes he apparated back to his cold and lonely office.

**Well any man with a microphone **

**Can tell you what he loves the most **

**And you know why you love at all **

**If you're thinking of the Holy Ghost**

Lucius sighed and apparated back to his manor, he tossed his wand and cloak on his study couch. He sighed and sat behind his desk, burying his face in his hands. He cursed under his breath and kicked the underside of his desk. Why most love be so difficult… especially when he has to face him every time Voldemort calls. He pressed his palms hard against his eyes, watching all the different colors swim through the black water. He pictured all the good time he had with Severus, laughing, smiling… it felt like a normal life. No good and evil, no up or down, no rich or poor. Just them.. And them alone… He released his eyes and looked up at the doorway. Severus stood there, outlined in a blurry translucent light. He quickly wiped his eyes, "Severus?" He looked back again, nothing. He sighed and leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed. He felt a strong yet gentle hand on his shoulder…."Lucius…"

(Song by The White Stripes)


End file.
